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Chapter 2) What Really Happened To Marriage & Living Together Over The Years?
“Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?” - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
As we examine what behaviors successfully married couples have nurtured to make their relationships last over time, we will also look at the other contributing factors that kept couples together. We will consider some of the factors that have driven unsuccessful couples apart. The data will provide an interesting view of these determinants. However, most of us don’t really need statistics to understand that some of these earlier marriages lasted just because marriage was the “right thing to do.” Other marriages lasted on convenience, and some for factors related to economics and security. While some of these relationships might not have been the perfect match, they held together. Others stayed intact because divorce was taboo. A number of individuals or couples, due to circumstance, did not have the option of more than a fleeting thought of divorce. Individuals which found their marriages lacking and had options for survival became a part of the divorce statistics.
There are many statistics and references in this chapter that are presented to show what has transpired with relationships and marriages through time. Many of the statistics are very insightful and thought-provoking. The data is provided as a baseline for the reader. It is important to understand how much the institution of marriage has changed, and sadly declined; in order for us as a society to address the seriousness of this issue. The data presented outlines a general view of marriage statistics, including changes that have taken place through the years. The data provides snapshots of marriage, divorce, and family trends through the decades, and, lastly, a more detailed view of marriage, cohabitation, and divorce. I hope to show the gravity of these trends and the powerful impact they have on ourselves, our families, and society. Personal awareness needs to be elevated -- before a collective desire and motivation to reverse these trends can take place.
The United States has the highest rates of both marriage and divorce in the world. Marriage continues to be the most popular voluntary institution in that over 90% of individuals in our society marry at least once. Annually, there are approximately 2.2 million marriages and 1.1 million divorces.6 Each year, about half of all marriages occur between couples where one or both have been previously married. In our society, there is an inverse relationship between marriage and cohabitation. Marriages are on the decline, as popularity of cohabitation continues to rise. In 1970, 72% of our society was married.
By 2006 the rate had dropped to an astonishing 60%.
The 2006 marriage statistics of individuals over the age of 18 varies considerably by ethnic group; with marital rates of 63% for Caucasians, 58% for Hispanics, and 42% for African Americans. First marriages, broken down by gender, have an average age of 27 for men and 25 for women. Realizing that close to 50% of marriages end in divorce, couples have come to view marriage as a high risk decision. Even so, most people who make the decision to marry and subsequently find themselves divorced remarry. Since most divorces involve children and more than one million children are impacted by their parents’ divorce each year, it is understandable that the rate of remarriage is higher for couples without children and for younger persons. The average remarriage age is 36 years of age for men and 33 years for women.7
Marital Statistics
Here is a sampling of some of the most recently available statistics on marriage and divorce in the United States of America:
There were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in 2005 - down from 2,279,000 the previous year, despite a total population increase of 2.9 million over the same period8
The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 - the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. The peak was at 5.3 in 1981 9
The marriage rate in 2005 (per 1,000) was 7.5, down from 7.8 the previous year
In 2004, the state with the highest reported divorce rate was Nevada, at 6.4 (per 1,000). Arkansas was a close second, with a divorce rate of 6.3, followed by Wyoming at 5.3. The District of Columbia had the lowest reported divorce rate, at 1.7, followed by Massachusetts at 2.2, and Pennsylvania at 2.5. (Figures were not complete for California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Louisiana, or Oklahoma)
8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners, according to The State of Our Unions 2005 report. The same study said that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents -- the lowest figure in the Western world
As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. In 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male) Marriage and Divorce Statistics
Less People are Married (U.S. Census: 2002)
Percentage of population that is married: 59%, down from 62% in 1990, 72% in 1970
Percentage of population that has never married: 24%
Percentage of population that is divorced: 10%, up from 8% in 1990, 6% in 1980
Adults who are divorced (2000): Males 8.3%, Females: 10.2%
Percentage of population that is widowed: 7%
Median age at first marriage: Males: 26.9, Females: 25.3
Median age at first divorce: Males: 30.5, Females: 29
Median age at second divorce: Males: 39.3, Females: 37
Median number of years people wait to remarry after their first divorce: Males: 3.3 years, Females: 3.1 years
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 25: Males: 32%, Females: 50%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 35: Males: 77%, Females: 84%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 45: Males: 87%, Females: 90%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 55: Both males and females: 95%
According to 2008 Census data, the percentage of the population that is divorced in Pinellas County, FL, is 16.3%, or ranked seventh in the country
2008 Census data show that Florida and Indiana counties figure predominantly in the top ten proportion of divorced residents
The Old “Father Knows Best” Homes are Increasingly Rare
Married couples in which only the husband is employed: 22.4%
Married couples in which only the wife is employed: 6.8%
Married couples in which both partners are employed: 53.5%
The Seven Year Mark is the Hardest
Median duration of first marriages that end in divorce: Males: 7.8 years, Females: 7.9 years
Median duration of second marriages that end in divorce: Males 7.3 years, Females: 6.8 years
More Couples Are Divorcing
80% of divorces are unilateral
Divorce increased almost 40% from 1970 to 1975 16
The number of currently divorced adults quadrupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 17.4 million in 1994
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